After much debate and several conversations, my fiance and I decided to create a wedding registry of items we need or that we’d like to update. It seems a bit off from what I’ve been working towards lately, so I thought I’d write up a post that explains (or maybe tries to justify?) our decision. So why did we do it?
The pressure of “tradition”
The main thing that frustrates me about wedding planning has been that the word “tradition” gets thrown around a lot, and often carries with it a hefty weight of guilt. It’s tradition to have a registry. It’s a tradition to not include that info on the invitation – people just have to ask.
It’s a lame excuse, yes, but it’s also better than having people confused about our choice, calling us out of frustration and asking, “well what do you want? Just cash? Do you just want money from us?” This way, our more traditional guests get what they want, and through a carefully curated list, we get what we want, too.
If you’re getting us a gift, make it something we need
I’m looking forward to getting a lot of handmade gifts, especially since my friends and family are a creative and generous bunch. But, what I was worried about without a registry was getting strange trinkets that my husband-to-be and I really don’t need.
Having specific requests takes the guesswork out of what we really want, need or even like.
This is our chance to be “real adults”
Most of our cookware, utensils and place settings are mismatched Goodwill finds – and not in the quirky, cute way. We picked them up throughout college, finding them in dark corners of new apartments when we moved, picking them up for under a dollar at garage sales…you get the picture.
Having a registry is a good opportunity to upgrade our kitchen appliances, our linens and our tableware so that we have uniform, high-quality essentials that will last us forever. As a friend reminded me, one of my central tenets as I go through minimizing is keeping what is useful and beautiful, but with a high focus on quality so I don’t have to ever purchase the item again.
It’s still not that traditional
Since I didn’t want to get too tempted by exploring beautiful stores like Crate & Barrel, I decided not to do an in-store registry. I’ve been having fun, snooping around Amazon for great deals and quality items. While I’m not sure how the convenience of it will work out for our guests, I feel good about being able to check prices and reviews before adding anything to the registry without a salesperson telling me what I need and what I don’t.
For example, I’ve heard friends talk about how the salesperson told them that it was traditional to register for 12, but they thought it was too much and registered for 10 instead. My fiance and I are doing fine with 4, and we’re not planning on hosting massive formal dinner parties any time soon. Those, however, will be replaced soon by 6 settings of the much thinner and lighter Corelle dishes so we can maximize our space in our cupboards wherever we move next.
So, what did we register for?
I must admit, it’s been tough to not let the registry get away from me. There are so many beautiful things on the internet, and it’s so easy to fall down a rabbit hole, chasing fine bone china and fancy kitchen gizmos. But here are some of the things that we registered for:
- Bakeware, including a muffin pan and some real baking sheets that don’t have years of mystery food (not all mine) burned into them
- A real vacuum – ours is clogged, again with years of mystery “stuff” and has duct tape covering the wire
- A blender – it’s been far too long without. I broke my last one blending paper pulp, and I’ve learned my lesson
- Knives, because knives
- Updated kitchenware and an actual oven mitt (again, I’ve been without for over a year)
- Tea and soap – who says consumables can’t make the list?
- Linens, linens, linens. At my fiance’s request, we’re going to work on making the apartment a little less “girly” (understandable, since I’ve covered the place with pink & purple blankets and fake flowers)
- A tent. I don’t know, if we ever get a weekend off at the same time, maybe we’ll go on adventures!
- Glass spray bottles for our homemade cleaning supplies!
- Baskets – it’s time to get rid of the cracked, dollar-store plastic baskets that we’ve been keeping produce and toiletries in and get some baskets that won’t break. I requested metal for the kitchen, wicker for the bedroom and bath.
What do you think about the strange conflict between minimalism and wedding registries? Or, minimalism and weddings in general? Is there anything I left off, or anything you wouldn’t add to the list? It really varies from person to person, so I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.